Slow and Steady

Ashley Davies always went too fast.

Everything about her life was based around speed in some way or another, whether unconsciously or not. She bought fast cars and drove them at way over the speed limit. She tended to get bored of the friends she rarely kept and usually ditched them hastily. She preferred quick, hot showers over the long, luxurious baths her sister favoured. Then there were the women. They were the type of girls that liked to play fast and loose with emotions, and the hurried and frenetic hook ups Ashley shared with them only served to make sure they’d leave her place quicker.

There was only one thing that made her slow down, and that was a harmless looking blonde named Spencer Carlin. The way she acted around Spencer, like a taser-gunned snail, was completely and utterly involuntary. It was something for which her sister Kyla teased her endlessly about, but Ashley didn’t care. The blue-eyed beauty from the Midwest already had more of a hold on Ashley than a hundred of those bed hopping Grey’s girls ever could.

Whenever Ashley rushed off head first into something, Spencer just patiently smiled that heartsmooshing smile she always did and told her to slow down. Ashley had yet to challenge Spencer’s judgement on such matters.

Ashley sighed and twirled the lunch bag in her hand as she watched Spencer toss her head back and laugh, her eyes sparkling as she entertained company over lunch on the other side of the quad. It was probably safe to say that the rest of her table were mesmerised by the carefree way Spencer flicked her hair over her shoulder, the sun making it seem nearly angelic.

The brunette sadly wondered if she and Spencer would ever be able to make their polar opposite attitudes to life gel and pull them truly together. It was a random memory, but Ashley started thinking of the time they had all been forced to run cross country in phys ed. Ashley, who was maybe perhaps trying to impress Spencer a little, sped off as soon as the starting whistle blew.

Around three quarters of the way through the race, Ashley had tired considerably and was forced to slow slightly. A few minutes later, she found herself being passed by an unfazed looking Spencer, who had, of course, paced herself. Despite Ashley swearing she saw Spencer roughly push someone out of the way at the finishing line, the blonde won the race with quiet ease.

Afterwards, Ashley had casually asked her for tips, desperate for any opportunity to talk to the new addition to her class. Spencer had just flashed that serene grin and said, “Slow and steady wins the race. Just think of the hare and the tortoise.”

It was the first time they had ever really spoken, Spencer having only recently transferred there and Ashley only having admired from afar beforehand. After imparting such wisdom, Spencer had waited like she wanted Ashley to say or do something further, almost like she expected it. Ashley herself was ready to lay the charm on thick on fast, but out of nowhere she had felt her throat clam up and the words desert her. Spencer could only watch as Ashley sped off to the changing rooms within seconds without so much as a misguided compliment aimed in her direction.

Shaking her head at her hopeless predicament, Ashley almost missed the fact that Spencer was waving at her from the other side of the quad. She no doubt wanted her to join her for lunch. Ashley took a deep breath and walked over to the table slowly.

When it came to Spencer Carlin, Ashley Davies was like a tortoise after a heavy night out.

–

Initial disasters aside, Ashley and Spencer had somehow salvaged a firm friendship from the wreckage of their first real meeting. In the search and rescue mission, however, Ashley had not managed to find her groove.

They were together in the quad, as usual, having ditched Kyla and Glen to sneak off alone, again, as was standard these days. Ashley quietly scraped the remnants of her frozen yoghurt from its tub as Spencer gazed dreamily up at a large banner announcing yet another badly planned school event.

“Ooh, look, prom’s this Friday.” Spencer said unnecessarily, clearly wanting to force a conversation to start.

“Yeah, I know. Lame.” Ashley rolled her eyes in response to her friend’s enthusiasm.

“You’re not going?” Spencer asked casually as she leaned over to dip her finger into the yoghurt, smiling happily to herself as she slowly licked her steal from her fingertips.

Momentarily distracted by Spencer’s actions, Ashley pulled the spoon slowly out of her mouth, letting the last bite of yoghurt savour on her tongue for a too long second.

“I’ve never been to prom, and I never will.” Ashley smirked.

“I don’t know…” Spencer reached over and wiped a stray smudge of yoghurt from the corner of Ashley’s lips with her finger, allowing it to linger on her face for a moment. There was a distinct pause. “It looks like… fun.”

The tension that had suddenly descended made Ashley feel like she was being hit around the head by an unseen force that was also serving to crush her lungs into being unusable too. She internally panicked, unsure of where either of them wanted this conversation to go. It was usually the type of situation where she would run, but once again, she had been reined in by Spencer’s invisible lasso.

“Then go.” Ashley finally croaked a response.

“I can’t.” Spencer sat back and shrugged with a smile. “I don’t have a date.”

“Nobody’s asked you?” Ashley didn’t restrain the surprise in her voice.

“Nope. They must be dazzled by my amazing hotness.” Spencer laughed and flicked her hair around like one of those overacting actresses from an old movie.

“They probably are.” Ashley answered without thinking.

“I was joking.” Spencer said quietly, unconsciously drifting closer to Ashley in their side by side seats.

“I wasn’t.”

“Ash…”

Spencer still had that small, patient smile as she waited for Ashley to respond. She looked, for once, excited; like she was allowing herself to anticipate something at last.

“Spencer, I…” Ashley started, looking up into Spencer’s penetrating eyes for a moment, searching for the green light to make her next move.

Unfortunately for Spencer, Ashley found herself all out of strategies.

“I really hate prom.” Ashley finished lamely and looked down at the table, away from Spencer’s disappointment.

Her face dropping slightly, Spencer sighed and grabbed Ashley’s empty yoghurt container, standing up and stalking off to throw it forcefully into the nearest trashcan.

Spencer ended up going to the prom with some dumb jock that year. Ashley went out and got drunk at Grey’s at breakneck speed. Spencer showed up at Ashley’s house just a few hours into prom. Ashley held her tightly in her arms, their chests rising slow and steady in each other’s contented embrace.

–

After what had turned out to be a disastrously life affirming evening out with the jock, Spencer had eventually announced to Ashley that she was gay one quiet evening spent on the brunette’s sofa talking.

“Look, Spence.” Ashley spoke softer and more genuinely than Spencer had ever heard her do before. “When you’re starting to find yourself and date girls or whatever, just take it slow. There’s no rush.”

Spencer gazed at Ashley and the quiet kindness she was showing, the both of them sat crossed legged and facing each other, just a few short inches away. Ashley saw Spencer’s scrutiny of her face and looked away, embarrassed and blushing a little.

“You’re just saying that to save the competition, aren’t you?” Spencer joked, feeling the need to diffuse the situation for Ashley’s sake. “Don’t worry, Ash. You’ll still get all the girls.”

Ashley played along with the joke and pretended to smile dumbly, only allowing her face to fall when Spencer excused herself to disappear off into the kitchen.

Spencer’s words may have been true any other time, except now the one girl Ashley wanted more than anything was the one that was the most elusive.

–

“Happy first Valentine’s Gay.” Ashley grinned stupidly and held out the rose in her hand to Spencer as the blonde sat waiting for her in their favourite coffee house.

“Aw, thank you.” Spencer ignored Ashley’s lame pun and took the rose. She brought it to her nose, inhaling the flower before twirling it carefully in her hands as she looked at it, smiling. “There’s nothing quite like a sympathy gift just because I got no others and have zero prospects of doing so between now and the end of this stupid day.”

“You know that’s not true.” Ashley sat down beside Spencer and grinned at the sarcastic blonde.

“Isn’t it?”

“No.”

“You know of anyone that’s just falling over themselves to be with me right now?” Spencer continued to tease, raising an eyebrow in Ashley’s direction.

“Spence…” Ashley exhaled heavily and stumbled over her words yet again as she tried to force them out. “I mean… look. I don’t know where to start.”

“Just take it slow, Ash.” Spencer softened her tone and absentmindedly reached out to place her hand over Ashley’s on the table. That didn’t help Ashley’s resolve much at all.

“Spencer… I think I’m—“

“Hey.” Both Ashley and Spencer snapped their heads upwards to stare at the tall, dark haired woman who had interrupted their conversation. However, whereas Ashley’s stare was one of rage, Spencer’s was more of surprise and minor intrigue. “I’m sorry. I know you’re with your friend and I don’t usually do this but…”

“I’ll give you guys a minute.” Spencer smiled knowingly, having been there a thousand times before when some girl had approached Ashley in order to hit on her, and started to get up out of her seat to hide by the counter as usual.

“Oh, I—“ The woman frowned and tried to backtrack.

“Look, thanks for coming over, but I’m not looking for anything right now.” Ashley snapped a little more abruptly than she had intended, but her nerves were shot from the exertion of her near confession of love to Spencer and this woman was not helping.

The woman gave Ashley an uneasy, slightly embarrassed smile and turned to look at Spencer instead.

“Um, I was talking to you actually. Sorry.” The girl quickly apologised to Ashley before beaming at Spencer, who smiled back joyfully at the attention.

It was now Ashley’s turn to make her excuses and run up to the counter, leaving the girls alone. She watched them interact out of the corner of her eye, feeling queasy at the woman’s flirtatious touches and Spencer’s musical laughter for her.

Ashley finally returned to the table when she was sure that the woman was gone. She didn’t want to be stuck in the middle of that little rendezvous. As she sat down, Spencer was all nervous energy and animated smiles.

“She seemed really nice. What did you think?” Spencer asked, her words all excited and fast.

“She was okay, I guess.” Ashley shrugged, unable and unwilling to venture an opinion.

“Okay, Ms Hot Stuff.” Spencer said dorkily, adding a goofy smile that made Ashley’s heart flip flop for good measure. “Maybe she’s just okay to you, but to me… I mean, she actually wants to go out with me!”

“I’m not surprised.” Ashley sighed and looked down shyly. “You’re gorgeous.”

“Ah, Ash.” Spencer stood up to go get some more coffee and gave Ashley a thank you smile, squeezing her shoulder as she passed. “See, you can be nice when you want to be.”

Pressing a quick kiss to Ashley’s forehead, Spencer was gone much quicker than she had eased steadily into Ashley’s life in the first place.

–

“So, I don’t think she’s for me.” Spencer finally exhaled, her sigh echoing down the phone as her epic retelling of her date with the random coffee house girl ended.

On the other end of the line, Ashley did a small victory dance and punched the air happily, before recomposing herself to respond to Spencer’s predicament.

“Oh, no, really?” Her fake concern came off entirely insincere.

“Think so.” Spencer rolled her eyes and smiled at Ashley’s obvious delight at her dating failings. “But I did get some other girl’s number while I was out.”

“Wow.” Ashley paused to consider the rest of her sentence as she felt her earlier bubble of joy rapidly deflating. “That’s a little…”

“With your rep, don’t you even dare finish that sentence with anything in the arena of ‘slutty’.” Spencer warned.

“…ho-ing?” Ashley ended, knowing that Spencer would see the gentle mocking in her goofy finish.

“Whatever it is, we’re going on a date later tonight.” Spencer said matter of factly, hoping that by some amazing miracle it would get a rise out of Ashley.

“That’s fine.” Spencer’s hopes were misplaced. Ashley once again turned to humour instead. “I have Gossip Girl anyway.”

Spencer was in no mood to be drawn into Ashley’s constant defensive joking and instantly changed the subject. Her impatience was increasing and starting to get the better of her.

“Here’s another weird thing; the afternoon before our date, a huge bunch of roses showed up at my house.” Spencer paused, allowing for interjection, but she was left with only silence from Ashley. “See, I thanked my date but she knew nothing about them. Weird, right?”

“Yeah…” When in doubt, Ashley reverted to playing dumb. “Weird.”

She knew that idiot of a date Spencer picked up at the coffee house wouldn’t be smart enough to think of a gesture like sending pre-date flowers. She hadn’t been able to resist taking on the responsibility for herself.

Ashley tried so hard to push herself to take the credit and claim the girl, but she just couldn’t. She stayed silent after her useless contribution and Spencer impatiently pressed on with the conversation.

“Anyway, I’m excited about this date. I think this could be the one for me, my first real girlfriend.” Spencer sounded positively enthused.

“Come on, Spence.” Ashley took a serious, guiding tone. “There’s no need to rush or force that kind of thing. Just take it slow.”

“Maybe I’ve had enough of being all slow and steady.” Spencer let the comment float on the line between them like a pressing question that never was.

Ashley decided not to say that was one of the things she loved about her, one of many, many things.

“You still there?” Spencer asked suddenly, jolting Ashley out of her wallowing daydream of reasons to love Spencer. “You’ve been silent for like a whole minute. I’m starting to get suspicious.”

“I think I hear my mom calling me.” Ashley rushed and went to hang up. “I gotta go.”

“Ashley?” Spencer’s voice caught her before she could end the call.

“Yeah?”

“You’re still my number one girl, despite the dates.” Spencer almost sighed as she stated the obvious, and hung up on Ashley before the brunette had a chance to move.

Ashley stared at the phone in her hand. This time, instead of panicking, she stood up, took a deep breath and walked resolutely out of her front door, grabbing her car keys as she went.

–

Spencer jumped as she heard the doorbell. She hadn’t made it off the couch since her conversation with Ashley, and was nowhere near ready for her impending date. It was just her luck that this girl was the early type.

As she gingerly opened her door ready to apologise or feign illness, Spencer stepped backwards as Ashley pushed her way inside. Spencer opened her mouth to protest or at least question, but Ashley held up her finger to stop her in her tracks.

Ashley took an audible deep breath before starting to talk, fast and frenetically rambling before Spencer had an opportunity to interrupt.

“I like you… a lot, actually. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m nearly all the way in love with you. I’m sorry it took this long to say it. I’m sorry for being such a scaredy cat about it all.”

Ashley paused for a momentary breath and to make sure Spencer hadn’t ran out on her already. Luckily for her, Spencer was still there, gazing at her with a shocked expression and what looked to be damp eyes. Ashley thought she better continue quickly.

“And I’m sorry that I’ve ruined your evening, but don’t go on a date with that girl and hope to find love somewhere along the line. Go out with me and I’ll show you that it’s been here all along.”

“Finally.” Spencer sighed and smiled. “You pick up some speed.”

“Hey, I thought slow and steady won the race.” Ashley looked down with a shy smile as she stepped a foot closer to Spencer.

“Ah, but does it win the Spence?”

“You are such a dork.”

“Okay. How about, does it win the Spencer race?” Spencer frowned and then laughed at her own lame joke.

“No, that’s even worse.” Ashley gave Spencer an encouraging grin nonetheless.

“Okay, okay. I give up.” Spencer held up her hands in defeat, letting them fall down gently onto Ashley’s shoulders. She took this opportunity to pull Ashley into her and place her arms around her neck, the brunette instantly responding by circling her arms around Spencer’s waist.

“Don’t. I like it.” Ashley grinned as she hugged Spencer closer. “If you give me a chance, I can show you that I’m a hare in other departments. Oh god. I can’t believe I just said that.”

Ashley blushed and let her head drop onto Spencer’s shoulder to hide her face.

“I thought it was funny, but, no. You probably shouldn’t have said that to a girl you’re trying to impress.”

Spencer’s low laughter sent vibrations through Ashley, spurring her to lift her head back up and stare into those dangerous blue eyes.

“Do I have to try?” Ashley tried to ensure all traces of fear were out of her voice, but the odd doubt still remained.

“Not really, but I hope you’ll give it a go.” Spencer pushed herself closer to Ashley, managing to fight all those misplaced fears away in an instant.

They found themselves stood like that, frozen in the moment and smiling dopily at each other for a long minute.

“That was kind of your cue to kiss me.” Spencer leaned in and whispered.

“Oh.”

“You need to speed it up, Davies.” Spencer let her arms drift up from Ashley’s neck and into her hair. Ashley’s eyes flicked down to Spencer’s lips.

“Remember, Spencer.” Ashley smirked as she started to move in. “Slow and stead—“

“Ssh.”

Spencer silenced her with a slow, lingering kiss that pulled on her lips and tugged on her heartstrings.

–

Whenever Ashley saw Spencer, throughout all the years they were together, her heartbeat would automatically speed up, fast and erratic. With Spencer’s hand in hers, it would go slow and steady in contentment, just like it was supposed to.

Ashley forever felt like she’d won the race.

–